He's Such a Moron
by Runawynd
Summary: Or at least, that's how he seems to someone who's blind to one's inner, natural beauty. His idiocy is mainly due to his honesty; his openness towards others, yet most importantly, towards me. Perhaps that's too vain of me to assume…? WARNING BOYS LOVE
1. Chapter 1 Journal Entry One

He's such a total moron. Or at least, that's how he appears to someone who's blind towards one's inner, natural beauty. His idiocy is mainly due to his honesty; his general openness towards others, yet most importantly, towards me. Perhaps that sounds too vain of me to assume…?

I believe that his honesty is his most memorable trait. Though, I can't say this was when I met him, naturally. Back then, I was someone who was blind; someone who didn't notice his knack for understanding. He had the ability to see through me, and it scared me.

After all, honesty and openness towards other people was something I never seemed talented in. I feel that, through him, I'm now something much greater than what I was before his presence in my life. I had no true friends, nor did I really have anyone to share that boring life with.

It was only until after I met that idiot that I started to really live life. I know this sounds strange, but he truly was my turning point of life. But you won't hear me say this out loud to him, of course; I still have my pride to consider.

Nonetheless, I feel that I can truly be myself around him. I escaped my prison of stress. Stress which was caused by pushing myself too hard to succeed so early in life. Yet through his carefree spirit, I learned that I, in fact, was only a teenager, too, like him. And that I had a whole life ahead of me to truly decide.

And for him, I will always be grateful. I will always continue to keep our relationship my treasure. I only hope that perhaps he feels the same way…?

Well, perhaps not. I don't wish to dishonor my family, but…

But time, as always, grows short. I must close this journal now, before we set off tomorrow. It will be an interesting experience, I'm sure.

Cheers,

Kyouya

P.S. I'm glad that I tricked Tamaki into thinking that I was writing a literature review in this book. He seems to be unaware…

Or at least, I think so. Sometimes he can be read like a book, but others… Well, let's just say that I don't completely possess his knack for seeing through other's emotions. Not with most people. And empathy doesn't seem to be my strong point, either.

Sometimes he does surprise me. But for some reason, I feel that I should always be careful with him, like he's my treasure, in danger of breaking.

I do believe that our bond is special, but there are many instances in which Tamaki is a mystery. Yet I don't think I'll confront him. Not this time.

…It seems I've strayed off topic today. I'll stop now and get some rest before tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2 Before I Leave, I'll Write

I suppose I forgot to mention some pertinent things yesterday night. I had the intention of writing about current events, but it seemed that I was a little off-topic. Yet again. I apologize.

High school graduation came and went like any other day. There were goodbyes that were shared, but to some, they would meet in the next school year – in college.

Tamaki and I are no exception. We conveniently decided that this certain university both shared classes of sparking interests. And so we would both attend, as roommates.

Ah, roommates, as in we both share an estate together that happens to be near the school. I'm not sure if father agreed to my plan, but when I told him my plans about attending the university for its specialized medical courses, he seemed more lenient.

Our "high school host club", (which is now deceased) still had some hope to keep our members together. But naturally, it didn't take long for life to take course. Soon each and every member had separated, moving on towards life.

Scheduling seemed harder and harder to maintain, as members found jobs, took classes, and had their own private calendar chores to attend to. I've heard that real life begins after high school, after all.

I feel very proud to say that Tamaki and I will still be sharing our lives with each other, even during these times of change.

I remember specifically asking him about founding another club at our new college together. I even brought up giving another host club a shot, but it seemed he was unwilling. Perhaps he'll change his mind upon meeting a few of the other students there…?

I know I'm not as keen on meeting new people as he was. To me, if you have one friend that's good enough, why search for more? Although, this is just me speaking as the skeptic that I am.

I should stop journaling now. It's almost time for me and Tamaki to go. In the words of Tamaki, "Mama and Papa are going on a summer break vacation together!"

We'll see how this turns out. I think I'm actually pretty excited, believe it or not.


	3. Chapter 3 Before Someone Finds Out

It turns out, I was sick for our vacation. Naturally.

Now that I think of it, I don't even recall the last time I became sick.

And so I lay in bed, my clogged head pounding.

I reached out to grab another tissue from the bedside, when my sister entered the room, announcing a visitor. Tamaki.

At first, I was thinking, _Oh no, I forgot to call it off with Tamaki._ But my anxiety melted away, as I saw him standing in the doorway.

He looked at me; not with disappointment, but with worry. I love how I was his number one priority. And I swear I'll never take those feelings for granted.

As sister left us alone, Tamaki sat next to my bedside, knitting his fingers together in his lap.

I felt quite pathetic, actually. After all, the situation itself had become quite annoying. We had it planned for months, and yet I literally get sick at the last minute.

Plus, I looked like a wreck. Not that it really mattered. I don't understand why I care about these trivial things when Tamaki's present. I don't understand, really.

"So I was thinking," Tamaki started, taking a deep breath, "Since we can't go anywhere super special, maybe I can just stay over here for a while…?"

"Here at my house? While I'm sick?" I didn't understand.

"I don't care about getting' sick or anything. I just want us to still get together, you know." His words rang true.

I sighed, attempting to think. But upon realizing that my head was uncomfortably stuffed, I grabbed that tissue, blew my nose, and tossed it into the building-up garbage can pile.

While doing so, I tried to maintain my graceful self, though I'm not sure why. It's like I'm a bird, puffing out my feathers during my time of sickness. "Well, what can we do? As you can tell, I'm bedridden."

"Yeah, I was thinking about that…" A smile creeping across his face, as he stared aimlessly into my tissue box. Quickly, he turned my way, keeping those bright, blue eyes on me. "How about you come to my house?"

I was again confused by him. And so I didn't say a word, and I waited for him to continue. Given the moment when I didn't need to speak, I blew my nose one more time.

"I mean, I have a villa that's kinda far from here. But it's right next to the ocean, and it's really pretty! I was thinking we should go together!"

"Tamaki, I really don't think-"

"And we'd have it all to ourselves! Since nobody really lives there, you know. It's a second, vacation home, after all."

The thought was enticing. Being alone with Tamaki for a whole summer vacation? It seemed to good to be true, for my dirty, little mind.

Then again, you didn't hear that from me. I should be more careful with what I think.

Then again, I was never one to believe the saying, "Your thoughts become who you are." I think that as long as you're strong enough to keep them in your mind and not act on them, then think away.

But alas, logic comes first.

"Tamaki, what would our parents think? You know they're not very… content with our friendship." That didn't come out how I'd hoped for, but sometimes a little forcefulness can push the conversation further.

Tamaki's smile never faded, "Then let's go in secret! Come on, Kyouya! Don't be so uptight!"

I thought about my parents, I thought about discipline… But then I thought about Tamaki…

Perhaps this was a chance of a lifetime. And when those chances come, you take them. After all, what other option did I have? Certainly, I couldn't deny his request.

* * *

And so, we left in secret.

The only person who I thought should know was my sister. To my disbelief, she agreed, letting me and Tamaki go to his estate.

Tamaki, naturally, had already packed his things. And so he watched while I packed in the dead of the night.

Cell phone? No, I won't pack that.

Laptop? Perhaps.

Camera? Sure, why not.

Now time to get the toiletries.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, glasses…

Wait, where are my glasses? Oh, they're on my face.

I hope Tamaki didn't see me pause there.

How about clothing? I would need a month's worth of clothes; perhaps even more, now that I think about it.

For a moment, I stopped to ask Tamaki if he had a washer and drier there. He shrugged, saying he forgot.

And so, I decided to pack for the month, praying for a washing machine. Otherwise I'd smell for our vacation.

Perhaps I could wash my clothes in the ocean water…? How indecent.

Then I wondered how Tamaki will get his clothes washed. Surely, he didn't have over ninety pairs of underpants in that giant luggage bag of his.

…How indecent of me.

As I stared at Tamaki's luggage bag, thinking to myself, he raised an eyebrow and asked, "What're you doing?"

That broke me from my trance, and I immediately threw myself back to my work. _That was a close one._

I sat on my bed, going through all my favorite shirts and pants, among other things.

As I went through, Tamaki suddenly jumped across the room to join me on the bed. When he lurched forward, I lurched back.

_What in the world…?_

"I have that shirt!" Tamaki pulled a blue, striped shirt from my clothing pile to examine it. "Yeah, this is definitely the same one! How cool, we might match!"

"Nn…" Was all I could say.

What annoyed me in that moment was the fact that Tamaki had planted his posterior directly on my pile of clothing. I didn't wish to stare, but it really was irritating.

"Oh, hey! I have this same pair of underwear, too! Wow, it even has the little diamond shape on the side! See it?"

Therefore, I did the only thing I could think of in that moment; whack him in the head.

The blow was quickly followed by laughter on his part. Perhaps he enjoyed being teased. Perhaps he enjoyed teasing me. But who could say?

After my packing was done, our next mission objective was to reach the island. Tamaki announced that he, in advance, had called a helicopter service.

At first, I was slightly skeptic. Towards this whole adventure, actually. How could my parents not notice a helicopter?

But regardless of worries, we traveled by helicopter to our island.

And for some reason, I was still worrying about that washer and drier affair.


	4. Chapter 4 I Feel I Must Explain

And so, we arrived at his family's beach estate. True, it was lovely; but to someone as… economically stable as I am, it was only partly impressive.

Though its location was magnificent. A beautiful ocean lie a block away, wonderful little shops along the way, and most importantly, not many people. Perfect.

Ashamed to say, I actually fell asleep on the entire helicopter ride. I AM sick, don't you recall? It's quite difficult for me to maintain consciousness.

As soon as we arrived, I tried to bribe Tamaki that I take another nap. But he insisted he give me a tour of the estate.

Oh, and by the way, he did have a washer and drier for clothing. Needless to say, I was praising the gods of luck, technology, and all inner desires.

When given the option of choosing a guest room to stay in, I didn't think choosing Tamaki's room was an option. And so I chose the room next to Tamaki's.

But all part-joking aside.

I believe the real reason that Tamaki was so insistent on us going on this vacation was that we needed this time together. We need this time to think about things and to work things out.

You see, we are in love. We're just having trouble trying to figure it out, I suppose. Especially me.

For some reason, I just seem awkward around him. Like I always feel that he has the upper-hand, and it bothers me. It makes me wish that I had the ability to at least say, "I love you."

Perhaps I'm a coward. But when it comes to these new emotions, I feel a lack in progression on my part. Like I won't be able to keep him happy, or I won't be able to give him what he really wants.

I always seem to say the wrong things. Or the things that I don't mean to say. I'm a blunt person, you see, but when it comes to speaking of matters of the heart, I have trouble.

Tamaki, on the other hand, has no problem with saying, "I love you." He's confident and non-caring of what other people think.

Maybe it's because I'm hesitant. Perhaps I hesitate because I know that our bond is forbidden.

I'm not sure if I told you already, but our parents have resorted to becoming enemies. I'm not sure when or how this change came about, but they must have figured out about us, slowly falling in love. Naturally, they were perturbed about us, and so they called off our family's relations.

Not that that stopped me or Tamaki. Besides, we had schooling to attend to next year together. And it's not as if we're just there because of each other, right? Well, I may be lying. But I see nothing wrong with spending time with a loved one.

But all rambling aside.

I really do hope, as he does, that this trip can bring our bond closer together.

-Kyouya


	5. Chapter 5 You, Me, Sunsets, and Sand

By orders of Tamaki, the two of them sat alone on a beach together. The colorful sunset was breathtaking, and Kyouya found himself trying to analyze all the different colors he could find.

Tamaki edged closer to Kyouya, put his hand over the taller man's and whispered, "I love you."

Feeling awkward, Kyouya said nothing and did nothing to react.

In an upset huffy, Tamaki forcefully grabbed Kyouya's chin and pulled his face away from the scenery. "I said 'I love you', silly."

"Yes, I know." Straightening his glasses, Kyouya still attempted to maintain his calmness.

Tamaki chuckled, "You know… As in you heard me? Or as in you know I love you? You're such a mystery! Honestly, my dear, you need to lighten up!"

Alerting Kyouya, Tamaki immediately bolted up from his seat to run to the water. The confused Kyouya only observed. The blond-haired man reached downward, cupping his hands, and collected some ocean water. Then he splashed Kyouya with it.

Spluttering, Kyouya managed, "What was that for?"

"For being a blockhead! Tell me right now! Do you really love me?"

"…Yeah, I guess I do."

"Try harder!"

"Um, I think so?"

"Nope, that doesn't cut it."

"Er… I like you."

"Another lame attempt!" Fed up with the others' conversation skills, Tamaki flopped back down beside Kyouya, both of them laying down, hand-in-hand.

They sat in silence for a moment to notice that the sun had gone down without them noticing. The darkened night sky was soon glittering with stars.

"Kyouya," Sounding serious for the first time that night, Tamaki did not even face Kyouya as he spoke. His eyes remained fixed on the enchanting night skies. "Prove it to me."

As Kyouya laid down on the sandy beach, Tamaki sat up, then propped his hands on either side of Kyouya's head, to look down at him. "Promise me?"

Kyouya raised an eyebrow. "Prove what to you?"

"Prove to me that you love me. Since it's too painful for you to say it, I want you to SHOW ME. It doesn't have to be anything super amazing, just a little something… So that I know… Okay? And it's gotta be sometime before the end of our vacation."

"…What do you want me to do?"

Sighing lightly, Tamaki stood, wiping the sand off his hands. Shortly after, Kyouya followed suit, and they both prepared to go back to their rooms to sleep.

"You figure it out."


	6. Chapter 6 They Try to Keep Us Separate

"Hey, baby, you feeling okay?"

"Uhn." Was all the other could muster.

During their first week together, Kyouya's condition only worsened, and he was forced to stay bedridden. Leaving Tamaki, then, to play nurse to the ailing man.

Sweaty and hot, Kyouya lay helplessly in his bed, while the ever-faithful Tamaki remained by his side.

"Do you want me to make you some lunch?"

There was a grunt of response from under the blanket, followed by mucus shooting out his nose and into another tissue, which he then tossed lazily into the nearby garbage can.

It seemed Tamaki thought that the sight of an arm reaching from the blankets to the garbage can was appealing, because Kyouya could hear a giggle from his friend.

"Or maybe I could order something! What're you… in the mood for?" Tamaki deviously creeped across his bedside, then carefully climbed towards the unsuspecting other.

Peeking wearily from out of the heavy blankets, the charcoal-haired man could see Tamaki's image edging closer to him. Without his glasses, he was unable to see his face clearly, but with his ears, he could hear a smirk hiding behind his voice.

"If there's anything at all you need, ANYTHING…" From on top of the other, Tamaki seductively suggested.

"Oof…" Was Kyouya's response, as Tamaki's small, yet seemingly heavy body fell flat on top of his back.

Kyouya hated how much emphasis he placed on that word. He also hated how Tamaki was topping him in that moment; it was rather difficult to breathe when bearing the weight. "You're heavy. Get off." He mumbled, quietly.

As if not heeding his order, the blond man sarcastically continued, "Master, please! I would be honored if you'd let me-"

Kyouya sported enough foresight to see where this conversation might lead, and so he grunted loudly, syllable-for-syllable, "Soup. Make me some soup, would you please?"

In another one of his huffies, Tamaki jumped from off of the grunting figure and bound off towards the kitchen. "Killjoy!"

Free at last, Kyouya blew his reddening nose.

He could hear the soft breeze enter through the window, and on lucky occasions, he could even feel it touch his hot body. He could smell the salty ocean's waters from only blocks away. He could see the warm sunlight, entering through his large bedroom window, outside of which was a balcony. He could also hear Tamaki humming softly to himself in the kitchen.

_This must be heaven. Minus the fact that my head hurts, my throat kills, I feel like a sweat-bomb, and now, thanks to Tamaki, another part of my body's aching… _Shivering lightly, Kyouya continued his dreamy thoughts._ Still, everything is perfect._

"Lunch is ready!" Tamaki called from the kitchen, his enthusiastic voice echoed throughout the near-empty house.

Kyouya sat up, steadying himself. "Really?"

"No! I'm just kidding! Ha ha ha!"

Sighing, he fell flat on his back again. For some reason, he was smiling. _God, he really is such an idiot. But then again, I suppose I love him for that too. Not that you'll catch me saying that to him._

Then there was the matter of finding a way to please him. Kyouya thought about those few nights ago, when he promised Tamaki. Though he brain-stormed even since then, he still could not think of a way to show him his feelings.

_How… problematic._

His derailing train of thought was brought to the ringing of a telephone. _The phone…? Who could be-?_

For a split moment, Kyouya thought to stop Tamaki from answering, but it was too late.

"Hello, this is Tamaki!"

Holding his breath, the eavesdropping man lay silently.

"How is Kyouya feeling? Well, he's got a cold still, but he'll be fine. I'm actually about to make some soup for him now…"

While he held his breath, he felt a cough rise in his chest. Soon, he could no longer hold the sickness in, and so he let it out.

"I beg your pardon?" Tamaki continued, "No, I'm afraid we can't leave any sooner. We're staying here until our vacation ends, you understand… Yes, that was our plan."

"I do realize that you don't want me to meddle in your family affairs, sir, but-… Yes, I know, but I'm not going back yet… You'd rather me leave now? And leave Kyouya behind?" Tamaki's voice grew somewhat impatient and upset, but he immediately stopped to maintain his sense of pride and honor towards the caller.

"This is Kyouya's wish. I'm sorry, Mr. Otori. Good day." _Click!_ The phone was returned to its receiver.

_My father…? No. No, no, no…_ Kyouya sunk into the blankets, completely covering his head. _How did he find out? Even after I move out, he's still following me around!_

Still remaining still, he listened for Tamaki, who had just finished preparing his lunch. Lonely footsteps echoed throughout the hallway, then his bedroom door creaked open.

Immature as it seemed, Kyouya did the first thing that came to his mind; pretend to be asleep, and he attempted to keep his breathing at a slow level.

"Kyouya? I've got your soup here. Oh, goodness… He's asleep."

Clank. He placed a tray of soup on the bedside table.

There was an awkward silence for a brief moment, Tamaki said nothing. Kyouya wondered if he should console the other, but feeling too awkward with how to cope with feelings, he remained still.

"Kyouya, I know your dad didn't like the idea of us becoming lovers. Neither did the rest of your family, for that matter, or mine. And I know that your dad wanted us to be together only so that your family business wouldn't be destroyed by my family. It was all a… set up rivalry."

When Tamaki's voice cracked lightly, Kyouya could feel his heart crack just as much.

"But you know what? I don't care! I love you so much, and I really don't care that they hate me! I just wish they'd leave us alone!"

Spilling everything out to his "sleeping listener", Tamaki threw himself on the side of the mattress and wept unashamedly.


	7. Chapter 7 Wouldn't That Be Perfect?

The next morning was odd, because Tamaki acted as if nothing had happened. He remained his cocksure, comical self. Which confused me, to say the least. However, I said nothing regarding the matter myself. _When the time came_, I told myself.

I wish I could say that the next day we went out, had dinner, and enjoyed the beach scenery. But given the fact that I was still barely able to walk for long amounts of time, I remained in my bed, feeling guilty for everything.

It took the rising of another sun for me to actually get out of bed. And so the next day, we headed outside again, for a picnic on the beach side.

Kindly enough, Tamaki set everything up, while I soaked my bare feet into the calm waters. The fresh air, along with the calming effects of the water, felt luxurious. I hoped that it would melt my sickness away.

I looked up for a moment to catch a view of a seagull, screeching above. It was then that I actually looked at the sky for the first time that day. Clouds. Rain clouds. Or perhaps something more frightening…?

I did not let the seagull's warnings bother me, though I wondered if Tamaki noticed the ensuing storm.

We sat and ate, all the while Tamaki remained oblivious to everything, always maintaining his cheerfully self. Unless of course, he was also blissfully ignoring the situation, as I was.

Predictably, within a few minutes, there was a thunderstorm. But to us, it actually felt quite refreshing, despite the thunder and lightning that caused us to find shelter back inside the estate.

As always, neither of us seemed phased by anything the outside world did to ruin our plans.

And that's how we both got back inside. And that's how I found the time to write in my journal. Though, I should probably stop soon; my hands really do hurt, and I fear my handwriting is becoming quite illegible.

Ah, yes I'll close the book now. I hear Tamaki running down the hall. I think he has a plan.

-Kyouya

* * *

"I have a plan, Kyouya!" Tamaki yelled down the hall. He continued his babbling, even after he finally opened the door to Kyouya's room. "Kyouya, Kyouya! Guess what?"

After closing his journal, Kyouya carefully placed it on his bedside to listen the others' news. "What is it?"

"I found an indoor hot spring in this place! PLEASE take a bath with me?" In an instant, the enthusiastic young man jumped up and down on Kyouya's bed. The ancient bed springs groaned under the sudden force.

Up went the exhausted other, who attempted to follow after Tamaki, who was still yelling about their good fortune and rushing down the halls.

When they approached the dressing room doorway, Tamaki, the quicker man, was first to enter. Slamming the door behind him, he yelled, "No peeking!"

Unable to do anything, Kyouya waited patiently outside the doorway with his box of tissue. He listened. Sounds of skin against clothing, clothing being thrown to the ground in a hurry… Kyouya could almost picture it.

_I must be such a pervert._ He thought, modestly.

In that odd moment, Kyouya brainstormed. He packed a swimsuit, but he wondered if it was really necessary for a hot spring…

As soon as the patient man heard the words "I'm done!", he came in to get himself undressed.

In a rushed mess, Kyouya saw Tamaki's naked figure, reaching towards the towels in an attempt to cover himself up. Kyouya felt his face become very hot, along with the rest of his body.

Upon finding the Peeping Tom enter, Tamaki screeched, "Eek! I said I was done, I didn't say come in!" Despite his angry words, Kyouya noticed the size of his smile.

"Well, what was I supposed to think?" Clearly, he felt embarrassed, but he was careful not to show it. And he was careful to keep his eyes ONLY on the others' face.

And so having said that in his defense, Kyouya himself began taking his own clothes off.

Surprisingly, Tamaki made no effort to leave the room. "You want me to stand here and enjoy the show?"

The dark-haired man almost laughed, as he sarcastically added, "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, Tamaki, you moron."

"Then watch I shall." As if greeted with a challenge, the blond-haired man bowed his head before him.

Now the awkwardness was on. And Kyouya had no intent of keeping that awkwardness to linger. "Tamaki, I was kidding. Get into the hot springs. I'll meet you there."

"Fine, master." There were more annoyed huffies from Tamaki, who stood to leave the room. "See you inside."

_Maybe next time, my dear._ The other man thought, maliciously.

* * *

At first, the hot spring water felt too hot for comfort for the sick man, and so Kyouya only dunked his feet in, until he adjusted.

Tamaki, fully adjusted or perhaps fully idiotic, was already covered up to his shoulders. He seemed to enjoy the water tickling his face, because he was blowing bubbles with his mouth, which slightly irked Kyouya, but it was tolerateable, nonetheless.

Carefully, Kyouya removed his towel, which was previously covering his lower regions, and he dipped his legs into the hot water. Now sitting contently in the relaxing waters, he was able to concentrate and unwind a little.

His cold was still bothering him, although it seemed to him that the waters of the hot spring had healing effects. At least, that's what he believed.

"Hey, Kyouya?" Tamaki started, popping the others' "peace bubble".

"Un?"

"This is just like old times, right?" Tamaki gently kicked his feet, playing with the water's currents. "You would bring me anywhere I wanted, just to keep me happy. Just to obey your father's wishes of keeping our relationship."

At the mention of his father, Kyouya searched Tamaki's face for anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps he was searching for a signal to bring up that phone call. But he knew full-well that this was not the time, and that they mustn't stray from the initial topic.

When the coast was clear, Kyouya spoke up, "I would do anything just to please you back then… But back then, I grew more and more frustrated with you – ah, no. Not frustrated with YOU, but more frustrated with MY inability to keep you happy."

"Do you still feel that way?"

"What do you mean? Your smile was my only reward for such things." Kyouya added, as if taking those lines directly from a poem or How To book.

Tamaki began giggling, "Yeah, right. You're not that generous!" As he teased, he edged closer to Kyouya's body. Naturally, Kyouya could almost count how many inches Tamaki grew closer to him.

"Perhaps you're right." _Four more inches, five inches… Oh, he touched me._

"You know what… I'm REALLY in the mood for…?" Tamaki enunciated with care.

For some reason, Kyouya felt almost at a loss for words. _My lover has such a beautiful body…_ "What's that? Ice cream?" _…__Ice cream?_

"No." Tamaki froze for a minute to reconsider. "But you know, ice cream sounds really good too."

_CRASH!_ The thunder outside grew even more intense, and yet Tamaki and Kyouya remained unhindered by nature. It was interesting for Kyouya to note, however, that Tamaki jumped slightly upon hearing the loud noise.

"Kyouya, have you ever kissed anyone before?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's a simple question, but I'm just curious. There must've been a ton of pretty girls that had a thing for you. At one point or another, right?"

"No, I've never kissed anyone before." _So, what, is he going to start doubting my abilities? How insolent._ "And you know very well that I've never even been in a relationship before."

"Hm." Seemingly content, Tamaki replied, sinking back into the water, as if melting away.

Without realizing it, Kyouya's mouth began to speak what was on his heart. "Girls had never interested me. But now that I think of it, neither had men. There's just you."

Time stopped. Tamaki's eyes peeked out at Kyouya, and he stared at him in almost disbelief. "That was... kinda sweet, Kyouya. You know, I think that's my first time I've ever heard you say something like that to me. It's… new."

_The trouble I get myself into... for speaking my thoughts out loud. _Strangely enough, it was as if this was a new experience for the young man.

As if performing an odd mating ritual, Tamaki rubbed his side against Kyouya's - like warming up into a bed - then lay his head on his shoulder. Cuddling into the soft flesh, the blissful man held Kyouya's hand from underneath the water.

The surprised and inexperienced Kyouya froze. He could feel how soft Tamaki's hair was, he could hear Tamaki breathing against his chest, and he could faintly feel his heart beating against his side.

And everything was perfect. The words he spoke seemed so natural, and the touch of his lover felt so flawless. It made Kyouya realize just how precious these small things are.

Kyouya felt his own fingers move through the silky but wet hair, then curled his other arm around Tamaki's shoulders, pulling him into a closer embrace.

"Kyouya, if only people would just leave us alone, I would spend every day together with you like this. We'd just be… together. And that would be perfect, wouldn't it?"

* * *

_Yeah, well... I'm sorry that I put a hot spring chapter in here! I know it's cliche, but I needed something happier to follow that last sad chapter. Thank you for your patience, everyone!_


	8. Chapter 8 A Wish for Strength

There was something about him… Something mysterious and something mystic. I don't know why, but our romantic mood slowly drew me into a lustful envelop.

And dangerous as it seemed, it made me want to kiss him.

After our warm bath in the hot springs together, we both left towards my room.

Our previous little cuddle had me aching for more, though momentarily I was contented with just his presence. Perhaps he felt the same way…?

Drying off my hair and returning my glasses to my face, I watched Tamaki. He sat in a luxurious chair in silence, his eyes focusing on the raindrops sprayed against the window. It was getting dark, and the storm was now reduced to nothing more than a quiet rain shower.

All the while, he had a calm smile pressed on his face. I felt quite accomplished, actually, to have known that I was the reason for his smile.

My logic slowly returned, yet my daydreams still remained intact. I wondered, for a moment, what made us return to my bedroom. It's not as if we had anything to do there.

It seemed that while I thought about such things, Tamaki glanced my way. The color of his azure eyes almost matched the rain outside the window, which he sat in front of.

He was breathtakingly beautiful. And I sincerely wished I had the strength to tell him so.

I heard my voice speak to him. "I… want to kiss you." I swear I did not move towards him, but then how did I suddenly edge so much closer? I barely acknowledge my own movements, I suppose.

Inquisitively, he merely cocked his head, "Really?"

It was a reaction I did not expect, and yet I remained on top of things.

Quite literally, I should add.

Somehow, my body shifted across the chair, and I embraced Tamaki. I was amazed at how his body seemed to mesh perfectly with mine. Because our bodies were still warm from the hot springs, it was as if he melted into me.

Eagerly, the smaller man wrapped his arms around my body, and he comfortably nestled himself.

We paused in that embrace. "I want to kiss you." I repeated, as if asking permission.

For a second, he said nothing. Since when did he play the shy one? Then he released himself from my grip to look up at me.

His lips were parted perfectly… To be honest, I had not realized that I was staring at his lips until they suddenly turned into a large smile.

My fluttering eyes then turned towards his, then as seconds passed, I noticed his eyelids gently close.

Then I felt his lips press against mine. And it was the most lifting feeling. It felt perfect. Tamaki was perfect.

As we enjoyed each other, I came to realize how natural it felt to be with him in that manner. There was a slightly awkwardness, yes, but it was as if I gave into my instincts. Because my next few movements, it seemed, were robotic, as if out of instinct.

As we brought the kiss further, I proceeded to rub my hands across his arching back, then move across his chest, then down near his thighs…

I opened my eyes slightly to see how he was reacting. He seemed almost oblivious or enthusiastic to my sudden, forceful action, because he kept his lips pressing tightly against mine, leading me into a more fierce kiss.

As his lust grew, I could feel his tongue playing along my teeth; asking to explore my mouth. There was no hesitation on my part, and we both – for the first time – enjoyed our first French kiss.

At first, it was odd, but practice makes perfect, no? It seemed he took pleasure in stretching his tongue down my throat.

Suddenly, to my dismay – and perhaps Tamaki's as well – I broke the kiss in a coughing fit. My sickness reared its head, as I couldn't hold in that annoying tickle in my throat. It was horrible that I was unable to tough out my weakness, because it did feel so perfect and so right to be with him in that moment.

My beloved broke away from me, carefully rubbing my back to help ease my aches.

I begged to continue, but I suppose we both knew better.

Our first kiss, our first night of freedom together as lovers, our first moment where we both acted upon our true desires…

I wish for – more than anything – to get well. Then perhaps, our night could've turned into something more…?

But don't misunderstand; I don't mean to be lustful here. Just to have him kissing me meant everything to me, and I had no further expectations of my shy, little lover. But I believe that no part of our vacation has been or will be wasted.

Playing the mother (or father, as he might have preferred), he brought me towards my bed, where he lay down beside me to fall asleep.

Right now, Tamaki is actually asleep, and I'm laying here writing in a journal. Writing about what me and my lover did today. I suppose that seems rather childish, and yet…

Ah, well. I suppose logic had nothing to do with this. I shouldn't try to be so analytical about such abstract things. The untouchable, the unattainable… The things that I never even thought to attempt understanding.

That was how I felt before I met Tamaki, who at the time, I wished would love me and accept my "odd feelings" for him. But back then, I truly believed it was unattainable; I believed he was untouchable.

But this night has proven me wrong.

Tonight, I shall wish for strength. Strength to get over this sickness, and strength to continue to show him just how much I truly love him.

Ah, it seems I have digressed. Perhaps my brain is slowly shutting down? It is quite late, after all.

* * *

_I love writing Kyouya in first-person. He is a joy for me to write. Probably because he's a very analytical guy. Which is one reason (I think) that he's so awkward when it comes to love. He tries to analyze the unanalyzable, if you know what I mean. But that analytical personality is somewhat like my own, and so it's easier for me to bond with such a character... _


	9. Chapter 9 Anxiety Nearing

The exhausted Kyouya awoke.

He groggily opened his eyes, and upon remembering the event of the previous night, he recalled that there was supposed to be a second body lying beside him.

As he thought, he smiled and slowly rose from the thick, heavy blankets to try and catch a glimpse of his beloved's sleeping face.

But the body was not there.

Feeling completely disjoined, Kyouya's mind began to worry. _Where is he? Has he left? Why would he leave?_

After scrambling to retrieve his glasses from the nightstand, his somewhat panicked eyes searched the queen-sized mattress before scanning around the room. In the corner of the room sat Tamaki, calmly sitting in his favorite chair…

…Reading Kyouya's journal?

In a panic, the dark-haired boy immediately threw the blankets off, leapt from the bed, and began shouting, "What're you doing? Put that down!"

Tamaki merely looked up from the book, an unwavering smile plastered to his face. "Why? This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. You should get it published or something. It's pure poetry, darling!"

Pausing for a moment, Kyouya thought of all the different things he wrote in that book, most of which had to do with Tamaki somehow or another. Then, immaturely, he attempted to grab it from the hands of the thief.

_Ring ring!_ The phone stopped any further actions.

For a moment, both men froze, merely listening as the phone rang a second time.

Tamaki grew serious and slowly placed the journal back on the bed, while Kyouya made his way towards the telephone.

Taking a short breath before picking up the demanding call, he answered politely, "Hello, this is Kyouya." He hoped his anxiety was inaudible.

"Kyouya? Is that you?"

He recognized the voice immediately. "Dad?"

"What on earth are you doing over there? And with that other boy? It was probably HIS idea for you two to run away, wasn't it? Do you realize how-"

"Father," Making an attempt to calm the other, Kyouya continued, "This was my idea, too. And it's not as if I've run away. This is just summer vacation. I'll be in school this fall."

"It was a rash decision to leave like that. The whole family is wondering what is happening over there, and naturally, rumors are starting, as well."

Growing impatient, Kyouya bit his lip. "Is there something you want from me?"

"I'm just asking you to THINK."

"Think about what?" He spoke confidently, void of fear. "I love him."

"If only you'd think, then you'd understand how DISGUSTING those feelings are!"

As his father scolded him with those harsh words, Kyouya felt his confidence shatter. He said nothing in defense. What could he say?

His father sighed in aggravation before speaking once more. "Now since I know you're not going to come home on your own, I've sent some people to pick you up tomorrow. You'll be back at your apartment, or back in my house; whichever I see fit. You have one more day with that boy, then I'll make sure he stays away from you. Understand?"

Kyouya nodded, knowing full-well his father was unaware of his answer, then he hung up.

* * *

I guess my only consolation was that slowly yet steadily, my cold finally began to disappear. At last.

I wish I could say that our vacation went uphill from there, but that would be a lie. Or at least, that's how it seems at present. Reality is rarely as sweet.

We tried our best to ignore my father's warnings, and we tried to make the best of our time together. But as much as I'd like to admit that the situation was blissfully ignored, I believe we were both afraid.

Tamaki brought up the idea that perhaps we could run and hide somewhere on this island. At this point, I'm willing to give anything a shot. And so I told him so. He seems just as desperate as I am.

Of course, I felt that running was useless. But I felt that trying to reason with my father is equally as useless.

The more I thought about it, the more my hopeless, helpless feelings grew. It felt like trying to swim away from a current of the ocean. Impossible.

Actually, as a bit of a side note, I was very upset that Tamaki had read parts of my journal. I don't know why, but I was really perturbed. It seems childish of me, really, but this book is very personal, you know. He promised me he wouldn't do it again, but he makes me wonder sometimes.

Not only was that short scene with Tamaki annoying, but my father's phone calls annoyed me. Well, maybe I shouldn't say "annoyed". I was more "disappointed" or "enraged" than anything.

How can anyone define these feelings as disgusting? That man, Tamaki, means the world to me, and I'd gladly give my life of comfort to be with him.

But I guess… Perhaps I already did.

* * *

_What will happen next? Even I don't know..._


	10. Chapter 10 Making Sense Yet?

The two boys filled the next day with as many things as they could; mainly to keep their troubled minds occupied. They ventured off towards the beach once more to take pictures, explore the beach, and at night, set off fireworks. Most of which were done at the suggestion of Tamaki, naturally.

The sun had already set, but they hopefully assumed that they had until the following afternoon when Kyouya would be sent away.

After lighting a few sparklers, both boys sat down on the sand together; merely being.

At the now darkened seaside, Kyouya brought along his journal, which he scratched in every so often. Due to his exhaustion, he only etched in a few words at a time, and then closed the book again.

Tamaki watched, as he opened his book once more and wrote, "Who's running? I'm not running…" Twice, he wrote that same sentence. The blue-eyed boy wondered if Kyouya even sensed that he had a spy reading this new entry of his journal. Though at that point, he doubted that the mournful Kyouya even cared.

There was a thoughtful pause, then momentarily, Kyouya scribbled a new sentence. "It's me and Tamaki both; both unaccepted by our families, along with the rest of society. We're just…" As he wrote, his words became more illegible, as if his hand couldn't take the stress.

Kyouya stared blankly at the paper. Abruptly, without warning, he shot up from the sandy ground to toss his cherished journal into the ocean.

Completely taken aback, the blond man observed as it sailed through the air, to finally land yards away with a small splash in the water. To Kyouya's surprise, Tamaki bolted across the sand, jumped in the water, and retrieved the pathetic, soggy notebook.

"What the heck were you think-?" Kyouya's shout was stopped short, as Tamaki scooped more ocean water to splash Kyouya with it.

"Moron! If you're going to toss this, let me keep it!" _Clonk!_ The book was slapped firmly against the top of Kyouya's already soaked head.

The glasses-clad boy spluttered from the salty, bitter ocean water, attempting to fan his wet clothes dry. "That book… is garbage." His trailing voice lowered in disgust. "Those words are of fear and uncertainty. If I were to make a next book, then… Well…"

Tamaki waited for no further gloomy comments from his partner. He spoke with confidence, "We're not running, that's for sure." Cold and soaked, he jumped towards Kyouya for comfort, only to shove him over on his back; Tamaki laying flat across his front. "Just suck it up."

There was a moment of silence, awkwardness, and sensitivity. Tamaki could only watch Kyouya's shocked expression staring up at him, causing Tamaki to chuckle. "You afraid? I'm not afraid!"

"Tamaki, get off me." Squirming, the clearly discomforted Kyouya demanded, "You're cold, heavy, and-"

"And what?"

"And…" As the negativity melted, a smiled graced the lips of Kyouya Ootori. "Not affected by my moodiness. Isn't that right?"

Tamaki laughed hard in Kyouya's face. "Darn straight." Instead of releasing the other man, Tamaki settled into the body, before dreamily stating, "We'd better get cracking if we only have a few hours left together. Right?"

"Get… cracking?" _Keep your eyes on his, don't get adventurous, don't move, don't move your hands, just keep your eyes on…_

As he giggled, the shorter man at last heaved his cold, wet body off Kyouya's. "Pretending to be the naïve one, I see how it is, my dear! Can't fool me!"

Quickly, the taller man changed the subject before any further suggestiveness ensued. "Let's get inside and get changed."

"Sounds good to me, my darling!" Tamaki helped straighten Kyouya's disheveled glasses and hair, before they both collected their things to head back inside.

Attempting to speed the drying process, Tamaki, all the while, flipped the soggy pages of Kyouya's journal. "Should we take a dip in the hot springs one last time?"

"It doesn't matter to me."

"Goodness, you're so cold towards me! I was hoping for you to say something like, 'Of course, darling. Whatever you want shall be yours, because I love you.'"

"I love you."

As if shot frozen to the ground, Tamaki stopped. Embarrassed, Kyouya kept on walking, perhaps inwardly hoping that Tamaki would not make any comments on the sudden honest remark.

Kyouya kept his eyes on the ground beneath him and paced himself, until Tamaki was eventually re-acquainted with the ground. Carefully glancing at his lover's face, Kyouya saw that beautiful, peaceful smile glowing across his face.

_I made him smile… I guess, maybe, it was worth it…? I really… like to see him smile, I suppose. I like making him happy._

Kyouya's thoughts were briefly interrupted by a small, slender hand sliding in his own. Gripping that hand more tightly, he made the conclusion_…_

_I guess… that's what I'm really living for._

As they walked side-by-side at last, Tamaki handed Kyouya his journal back and explained, "Finish writing in this book. You have a few pages left, then I'll take this burden of a journal off your hands. Okay?"


	11. Chapter 11 Happiness of Living Freely

"Truth or dare?"

"No."

"Spin the bottle?"

"No."

Both men merely sat on the bed; each observing the other carefully, and each hesitating to be the one to start it.

"Then what DO you want to do?" Acting frantic, Tamaki pounced towards the other man, causing the bedsprings beneath him to creak under the sudden weight. "We only have one night left. One night!"

Kyouya shrugged. He was – again – faced with Tamaki's overly-dramatic state, towards which he chose to remain unaffected.

Though, his mind also had the same goal in mind, as did his partner…

_I wonder who's going to be the first to crack?_

"Kyouya! Come on! You're not being fair!" The blond man bounced lightly on the bed, as he pleaded. "I've given you ideas, but you aren't saying anything! YOU tell me what you-"

With a sudden, uncalled-for burst, the glasses-clad boy seized Tamaki by the shoulders and slammed him into the pillow. Tamaki now lay beneath him.

_I guess I failed to keep my sanity. But this is so… revitalizing._

Tamaki was pleased. Kyouya kept his eyes fixed on Tamaki's triumphant grin. Then in the perfection of the moment, they drew closer together, and the Japanese boy brought his lips to the French boy's.

With more confidence than their last moment of union, Kyouya did not hesitate to slide his tongue through Tamaki's mouth, curving it perfectly around the blonde's.

Moaning lightly with his higher-pitched tones, Tamaki wrapped his arms around Kyouya's neck and shoulders, before they began to venture towards his torso.

_I can feel him smiling… How odd; this feeling against my mouth. _As Kyouya analyzed, he had barely noticed that a similar smile was pressed against his own face.

Breaking apart for air, Tamaki threw himself into Kyouya, becoming completely enveloped by his warmth and touch.

"Where did all this energy come from?" The playful Tamaki asked curiously, gazing his open eyes up to Kyouya's smug face.

In an honest answer, Kyouya spoke thoughtlessly, "I don't know."

"Good. Let's keep it that way, hm?"

Kyouya almost laughed. In a rush of lust and playfulness, the vicious boy put his head to Tamaki's shoulder and used his tongue to feel around the soft flesh.

It was Tamaki's turn to giggle. Amused, he crooned once more, "Are you going to eat me, mama? –Ah, ouch!"

The blond boy gave a jolt, as Kyouya's teeth softly bit through his shoulder. As Tamaki's body jumped, the light nibble only worsened, and Kyouya's teeth unintentionally dug in further.

Immediately feeling ashamed and perhaps frightened, Kyouya retreated, taking care to take a look at the bite marks on his beloved's shoulder. He felt his eyes widen and his stomach clench; he could see a bit of blood leaking out of the mark.

Leaping from the bed and his lover, the charcoal-haired boy rushed towards the bathroom to retrieve a bandage.

In his frustration, he nearly stumbled through the doorway on his way out, but upon hearing Tamaki's voice laughing, he paused momentarily. It was obvious to him that – though he was worried and felt guilty – Tamaki remained nonchalant, ever-optimistic.

"Goodness! You're so vicious, my love! Don't worry about my shoulder, it's fine!" Tamaki's soft voice giggled. "But don't scare me like that!"

Kyouya's mood then lightened, but regardless of the other's words, he still put the band-aid on. The feeling of their bedroom, again, was light, and the men nearly laughed themselves to sleep.

After the two boys settled themselves into a cuddled heap, they welcomed sleep. That was as far as they decided to take their last night.

They then welcomed the challenge the next morning would bring.

* * *

The following morning, Tamaki and Kyouya shared another breakfast together. This time, Kyouya would prepare something special for his guest.

Surprising to him, there were no signs of his father as of yet. Yet the two cherished the moments, fear still lingered. After all, it was only a matter of time…

_Snap! Thud, thud, thud…_ A shocking noise from the second floor stopped the two boys in mid-meal. The thudding noise quickly translated into footsteps, and sounds of a door slamming open only alarmed Kyouya further.

To comfort his partner, Tamaki Suou reached across the table to grab Kyouya's hand, which – Kyouya noticed – was trembling slightly.

_Why would they be sneaking in? Then again, maybe that's more suited to my father…_ Kyouya thought, regrettably.

As if waiting for Kyouya's cue, Tamaki and his dark-haired friend simultaneously rose from the table, to head upstairs.

For some reason, it seemed that the staircase had expanded, and time passed at an odd, unfamiliar pace. The sounds of voices then echoed from above, following more footsteps.

"Sir! We've found blood on the mattress!"

"Blood? On the mattress?"

"S-Sir, there's evidence of two people sleeping in this bed. You don't think that, well-"

_Blood on the… Oh, Tamaki! That's right… I bit him, and it bled a bit. But it was so little, I can't believe they'd – this could be bad. My dad's not thinking very clearly, so I'm sure that could definitely be misleading…_

They arrived to find that their bedroom (formerly Kyouya's bedroom) had been broken into. At once, they spotted three men; two of which were dressed in dark suits, and the other they recognized immediately as Kyouya's father, Mr. Ootori.

The two men were searching the room, knocking things over, and tossing various things aside; wrecking the room almost completely.

Tamaki watched in silence, and given that opportune moment that Kyouya and his father reached eye-contact, Kyouya stepped forward.

"Father, what's all this?" The boy firmly demanded.

Unreadable was the first word to describe the father's distressed face. "Kyouya, I don't understand it."

"Understand what? I've spelled it out to you plenty of times before."

_Well, Tamaki? You've been waiting for me to prove myself to you. If I haven't done so already, here it goes._

First stopping his men from doing any further damage to the room, he then countered by way of interrogation, "What is it that you want? Are you trying to ruin the Ootori name for yourself? Or are you just trying to go against my wishes for the thrill of it?"

_I gave up everything. I gave up money, what little power I had… _

_After all, with power comes responsibility. I never once found the principles of royalty to be anything more than burdens; stress and expectation that was nearly impossible to live up to…_

_These things that slowly threatened my happiness. _

"I don't mean to ruin our reputation, father. I'm merely doing what I know to be honest. I'm in love with Tamaki Suou."

_But perhaps soon… No, NOW… I'm bound to my happiness: Tamaki. I can now live freely._

_I believe it was him who really taught me the joy of truly living, without fear._

Careful not to hide, but careful not to also put himself in the spotlight, Tamaki stirred beside his lover. Watching his opponent's every move, Kyouya noticed those hateful eyes flicker at Tamaki, who merely stood; proud and uplifted.

"Then alone you will be. I was here hoping to bring you back, but that stubbornness of yours will be the death of you." Mr. Ootori added, "I will cut all ties between you and us, and you'll support yourself – and that lover of yours – until you realize the truth."

_Tamaki IS my truth. It's a distant, impossibility to my family, who will never able to see that. They are the ones blinded by fearing the unknown. By closing their minds and hearts towards what my true happiness can be._

Standing before fate and a life-long change, Kyouya realized how useless it was to argue with someone as opinionated as his father. Kyouya's feelings, morals, and thoughts, he kept inside. Later on – he decided – those would be shared with the one person who mattered.

Finally, Mr. Ootori summarized, "From here on out, you are no longer my son. You'll drop your last name, to keep from putting the rest of my family to shame."

And with that, the father left the son.

_I left my family's accursed name, I left my entire fortune, and just about everything else, just for you, Tamaki._

_All for you._

* * *

"Be a dear and make dinner tonight, 'kay?" I could hear Tamaki's soft voice ringing throughout our kitchen.

I was sitting peacefully on my favorite couch, typing away on my keyboard, when I heard his pleading request. "Why?" I asked, simply.

"Why? Well, because you love me, am I right?" That ever-familiar cheerful tone reached my ears, causing me to give him a straightforward, typical response.

"…Something like that."

I could hear him make a typical, yet strangely cute huffie, then stomp from the kitchen to my face, "After ALL this time, you still can't speak to me like a lover? So cruel!"

There is much truth in that, honestly. But I've never been one to express words very well.

For a moment, I thought to take that face and press his pouting lips against my own. But something compelled me to instead succumb and make dinner for him, and so I set off from the living room to the kitchen.

Content, Tamaki trotted behind me, sitting playfully at the dining room table, watching me with a grin glued to his face. After taking note of his presence, I merely pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose; as was habitual.

Time had moved on, and I felt like we were settling into life's more natural flow. Many months had passed, which was readily turning into our second year of living together.

We were both pursuing our dreams together, and we – as from the day we met – were truly growing together. We share our lives together, now under the same roof.

As I was whisking the batter for our meal, a thought pressed my mind, which escaped through my mouth towards my partner, "Tamaki, I've been thinking about changing my last name."

"To what?"

"Suou. Is that all right with you?"

I believe that we will settle on just being together. And that's enough for me.


End file.
